It hurts to say it, but it's true. I love him and I don't want to. He hurts me and the only thing I want to do is run away and forget about him.
But it's not so easy to do... it's not easy to forget. To forget means not only to forget the bad, but the good as well. When I push the bad things to the back of my mind, I have to do the same with the good things, otherwise whenever I think of the good things the bad things will follow.
The sad thing is, he's not the same person as he was when I met him. When I met him, he noticed when I was upset, and he wouldn't let it go until I felt better. I remember, it was June 5th and he cared. Now it's January 11th and I spent today and yesterday angry. And he asked me what was wrong. Once. Or twice. And then, he just forgot about it. Talking and laughing and having a grand old time.
But I guess that's kind of my fault, for being so dramatic all the time. He's probably gotten so used to me being so pathetic and odd, then he just doesn't think it means anything anymore.
Today, though... that was different.
I'm hurting, and nobody knows it.
The only person that I can't hide it from is Sam, and that's just because when I see him it's obviously hard to forget about him.
And he thinks that when I'm shaking my leg, it's because I'm thinking. That's wrong... it's because I'm trying not to think.
Anyways, it hurts, because I see Sam with Ashley and I just think that it used to be me... At least, I thought so. I'm not so sure anymore if he ever felt that way about me.
I'm trying to get over him. I really am.
Always&Forever,
-Chelsie-
- Here At:home
- Mood:
crushed - Jams:Shania Twain
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chasethestars
chasethestars